


Cheese

by Sagakure



Category: Vampire Knight
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-25
Updated: 2010-10-25
Packaged: 2017-10-12 21:17:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sagakure/pseuds/Sagakure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>Disclaimer: </b>I don't own Vampire Knight, this is a fanfic written for fun and for love of the series. I'm not making any money with it.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Cheese

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Vampire Knight, this is a fanfic written for fun and for love of the series. I'm not making any money with it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Vampire Knight, this is a fanfic written for fun and for love of the series. I'm not making any money with it.

 **Warnings:** Insanity...? XD

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The experienced hunter paced in front of the little blackboard set up in a backroom at the Kiryuu's house, pointing at the different vampire characteristics he had listed and that he wanted his young pupil to memorize.

The boy paid extra attention, a look of seriousness taking over all his features, something surprising in one so young. In days like these, it was as if he was trying twice harder, to make up for his other half -Ichiru was skipping class today again.

The teacher, Touga Yagari, sighed and turned back to the board, while silently wishing that the boy could lighten up a little.

He was afraid Zero tried too hard, and that it made him unable to even enjoy life while he could, before it became so much more dangerous and dark once he became a hunter.

A thought crossed his mind and he wrote an additional line at the bottom of the list.

"One of the most peculiar and least well known vampire characteristics is that vampires cannot swallow cheese."

"Cheese? Really...?" The boy's eyes were wide open, and he had a puzzled expression on his face. Not quite disbelief, he wouldn't dare insult his master so, but... it certainly came in as a surprise, and was more than a little difficult to believe.

"Yes." Yagari was dead serious though, and held the boy's gaze firmly for a moment before turning and continuing. "Their throats lock in the attempt and they suffocate to death, or become unable to consume blood afterwards and starve." He paced as he spoke, turning suddenly for an added dramatic effect at the end of his words, in a way vaguely reminding of his old friend Kaien Cross.

Zero stared at him for a moment, taking in the info, then inquired:

"But then, couldn't we use this information against them? Use it as a weapon?"

"It would be wonderful if we could, as it would be extremely deadly. Unfortunately, it can't be done, because it's impossible to sneak cheese on a vampire without being biten by them. Their senses are extremely attuned to it, because it's so harmful to them. They can sense cheese from surprisingly far away. Many have perished horrible deaths in the attempt."

The boy stared in shock at his master, wincing at the thought of the heroic hunters of the past who had given their lives to try and use cheese as a weapon against the bloodthirsthy monsters.

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It was only years later, when Zero had completely turned and awakened as a vampire, that he realized that his master had been pulling his leg, and that he'd been avoiding anything with cheese for years for no reason at all.

No wonder the chairman and Yuuki always stared at him with surprise every time he refused anything with even a remote amount of cheese. In fact, now that he realized, he felt rather stupid and kicked himself for his naiveté: He could swear he'd seen Kaname eat those dishes and be perfectly fine, while visiting Yuuki during her childhood. He had somehow assumed it was a pureblood ability, an immunity against something that would normally kill a less powerful vampire, but now he couldn't help but feel really gullible.

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Sagakure, June 08th 2008

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This fic brought to you by: I choked on melted cheese in my soup. ;-;

Mozzarella is yummy, but evil in soup.


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